Year: 2020

Observing

Remember those silent observers who sat in the back of classrooms observing teachers? And remember how students would listen quietly to what is being taught, either waiting until the time for questions or raising their hands (not to interrupt, but to signal something they didn’t understand and needed clarification on)?

How much more effectively can evaluation and learning both take place in such an environment — as compared to an environment that is a flood of overreaction and debate. Even when we have questions or concerns, shouldn’t we listen ALL THE WAY THROUGH to see if our questions will be answered eventually? And isn’t our life daily an opportunity to learn and grow?

It seems easier in today’s age of trolling, disrespect, and sarcasm from so many internet “keyboards warriors” to see people tuned into a model of amplifying conflict through provocation and overreaction. Just look at conversations about masks on Facebook, for example, and you might be hard pressed to find people in that conversation who are genuinely seeking to listen, understand, consider alternative perspectives, respect one another, and provide gentle responses that promote understanding.

How often do we find ourselves handing over our peace to people and situations — that are, quite frankly, unworthy of stealing our peace?

And there is an approach even better than just maintaining our own inner peace in the midst of strife and division around us.

Have you ever been on a lake when there are a lot of boats actively moving around? Have you noticed how the wake of many boats moving in a small cove will cause a lot of waves that affect each other?

What if we weren’t just a lone ship who has all portholes secured from the waves and is sitting still, safe from sinking, but the waves are still rocking us wildly about — but if we could actually be part of the calm?

I’ve noticed something about lake life over my decades skiing, jetskiing, tubing, and boating. When people from the boats are smiling and waving at each other, they are usually not being disrespectful and disrupting others with their wake, nor are they as quick to grit their teeth and plan vengeance because another boat’s path impacted their intended direction.

Community vs “my way” is how I see it playing out on the lake. When a lake community is a “we” thing, it is usually a great day. But get a few folks out on the lake only thinking about themselves, being disrespectful to other boaters, and overreacting to others — and the lake can become very dangerous, very quickly. And the solution is never to “one up” the bad behavior into submission — the risk on the lake is way too high for that. But finding a peaceful way to welcome folks into the community and demonstrate courteous boasting practices and consideration for others on the lake can make a real difference.

This is true for so many areas of our lives. And it starts with being quick to listen, being slow to speak, and being slow to anger.

This may seem like a burdensome task list to follow if we realize how often our own selfish nature has had us facing down other people because we didn’t appreciate their behaviour, or circumstances because we didn’t like how they turned out. We might say things like, “Well, I’m just not a patient person” or “Why should I back down” etc. if we want to make it all about ourselves.

But a Christian who opposes such instruction,  or who isn’t applying such things in their life daily, might want to ask themselves what is at the root of their getting caught up in things and overreacting emotionally. Could it be a lack of trust and surrender to God? Could it be that we forget that He is in control and has offered us opportunities to be the welcoming, listening, loving, supportive, gentle, kind servant to a world in need of a better way?

I find myself failing in this area quite regularly. I faced temptation even while doing this lesson and the things going on in my house around me were constantly interrupting me. But instead of letting my frustration well up and feed my normal, short response of “Daddy is doing his lesson” which means “everyone leave ne alone for a bit” — I took the time to listen to what my daughter had to share with me. It was a sweet gift idea for her mother’s upcoming birthday. No, it wasn’t an emergency, and yes, it could have waited. But what mattered to my daughter was that she was welcome, that she was heard, that she was seen, that she is loved, and that her daddy is here for her. I wonder how many times I have used various excuses to justify my not being quick to listen that were all about “me” and “my way”?

Lord, forgive me again today for my many shortcomings that lead me back to remembering the cross and your willing sacrifice for our benefit. Help my learning ands sharing to not just be mental and intellectual conjecture, but for my heart to be changed by your Word, and for my life to be more conformed to your perfect example. Thank you. Amen.

Self-Serving Hireling or Invested Servant

Another great series of questions from Brian Eshleman today from his blog https://brianesh73.blogspot.com/2020/07/jeremiah-2535-37-hirelings-habits.html

Which of you convicts Me of sin? And if I tell the truth, why do you not believe Me? John 8:46, New King James Version

Question: Where have Jesus’ doings in your life memorably lined up with His teachings to convince you to follow in a challenging area? Or, where have you found yourself waiting for or nursing some seeming disconnect between what He teaches and what He does in your life as an excuse not to follow?

My Answer: A challenging area for me is when I’m within an environment which smells like what is described in this article https://www.biblicalleadership.com/blogs/how-do-you-spell-effective-leadership/ as “The stifling, ceiling-hitting environments where a tyrant calls the shots and everyone else has to live with it, powerless to do or say anything that will make a difference.” And pairing that challenge with the call to serve and not be served has me stretching and trying to grow in my letting go of things outside my control and focusing solely on what I can do — to not just endure a storm, but appreciate the process of humbling myself and trusting God.

And the “waiting for” has been for me — the result of prayers wanting strong, experienced leadership with integrity whom I can learn from and grow — not usually realizing that their “not being what I pictured in my mind” may be more of a problem with my unreasonable expectations rather than all a problem with “them” — and that I am learning and growing in the process. So prayers turn into begging for the way to be more conformed to my image instead of the reverse, and my excuse for not following becomes my “wanting” instead of my “trusting”.

He has left His lair like the lion;
For their land is desolate
Because of the fierceness of the Oppressor,
And because of His fierce anger.” Jeremiah 25:38, New King James Version

Question: What false belief or impact of false belief have you found God faithful to hunt down, even oppress, until it is exposed as unworthy compared to Him?

My Answer: I was intrigued by a question today which mentioned the devil from a young man who has at times in the past seemingly sought to provoke me into argument over religious topics. And as I tried to determine our individual understandings of this being called the devil — I found myself considering and questioning and wondering my own exact position on the topic. And I found my own unsteady footing on the topic to leave me better open to listening and learning and considering — rather than just debating to defend a position/argument.

And this position, upon a teetering position not yet firmly nailed down in my mind — yet facing someone who has regularly proven themselves as adversarial — left me wondering how I might be presenting myself in the challenge I mentioned in my answer to question 1 above. Have I genuinely been a servant willing to humble myself even to the point of suffering? Or have I been proud because I’ve been insisting that I’m right and “they” are wrong. It makes for a convicting consideration for sure.

Brian’s blog https://brianesh73.blogspot.com/2020/07/jeremiah-2535-37-hirelings-habits.html also continued to hit me square in the mouth with realization and conviction like the following (the highlight is for my own emphasis):

Lord, in my weaknesses, your grace is proven sufficient yet again, and your power is made perfect. Forgive me, heal me, lead me, and don’t discipline me in anger for my foolishness. Mold me to be more like you, and restore my peace and serenity in situations and circumstances beyond my control. You have been trustworthy and faithful all of my days. Amen.

Grieving for Glory

A high school friend and fellow Christian blogger, Brian Eshleman (http://brianesh73.blogspot.com/), proposed two verses and questions in a text message tonight:

You are of your father the devil,
and the desires of your father you
want to do. He was a murderer
from the beginning, and does not
stand in the truth, because there
is no truth in him. When he
speaks a lie, he speaks from his
own resources, for he is a liar and
the father of it. John 8:44 , New King James Version

(1 ) When have you believed and
told a lie because you spoke from
your own resources, because you
didn’t pause to seek God’s
perspectives?

“Wail, shepherds, and cry!
Roll about in the ashes,
You leaders of the flock!
For the days of your slaughter and
your dispersions are fulfilledi
You shall fall like a precious
vessel.

(2) When has God’s declaration of
your likeness to a precious vessel
been convicting rather than
encouraging?

My answers:

1) The greatest lie may be when I seek validation for what I’ve done by my own resources — when I’m expecting honor from men and glory from my giftedness, or acknowledgement for personally overcoming my shortcomings. Instead of building an altar from rocks untouched by a man’s tooling for God to be glorified alone, I sometimes find myself eager to polish and stack beautiful stones so that men might admire my work — rather than God get all the glory. It is a horrible lie when I half-heartedly play at glorifying God while expecting to be seen, heard, recognized, and honored. Lord, help me, because I don’t even realize it too often how imperfect my “worship” can be. And when I hide behind my fig leaf, saying, “But it wasn’t intentional, it wasn’t premeditated, it wasn’t intending evil” — it proves ever more clearly that the only good in me comes from God — and that it had been my disconnect, my not abiding in Him, my not communing with Him, my not dying to myself daily that had opened me up to such a sad state of the union.

2) It convicts me about the times where my focus is “to be cherished in this world” rather than “to be of great use eternally for the glory of God”. And who would reach forward extending a finger to touch the hand of God like in the Creation of Adam, thinking of oneself to be “greatly used for the glory of God” but either the most insane of proud, shortsighted men — or the most humbly sane that view eternity clearly? But has my faith recently had me at the ragged edge of radical faith eagerly awaiting His return? Or fat and comfortable and sleeping, unaware of any thieves that might come in the night?

He Pressed me further with question 3:

3) Can you think of a particular instance when you have been convicted of either of the fallacies above, or, even better, when you realize that by the grace of God you are making progress?

My response:

3) I recorded an especially heartfelt and personally moving worship that I shared on Smule App for others to join for their part of worship. It got such an large turnout of different people joining me etc., that I later thought to myself — I ought to sing/record that particular song more often. Making the horribly self centered assumption that people enjoyed my singing of the song and wanted to join me — rather than the genuine worship being what drew others to join in worshipping God, and I tried to sing it again later and share again for others to join — not realizing the double insult, of my second “Amos 6 level counterfeit worship”, and my almost tainting the original genuine worship by how I perceived it might be leveraged for my own glory.

Even so, years ago, I wouldn’t have been giving God any glory at all.

“Bingo”, he replied, and I continued:

If it was all up to me to get better at all of this under my own power, I would be utterly doomed. Now, I not only see the foolishness in my old ways, but even the foolishness in so much of my current ways — even though I can see measurable improvement in some areas. But making it from step 1 to step 4 on a scale of infinity isn’t the time to gloat.

My brother, Brian, replied in text — both of us on other sides of technology during this pandemic, confessing our sins together, and encouraging one another, and genuinely glorifying God in the process:

“Can totally relate. When the blogs don’t generate the looks, likes, or questions I would like, my reaction is not grief that his glory isn’t extended and that people aren’t fed. Too often, it’s for my vastly underappreciated talent. :-)”

That quote “my reaction is not grief that his glory isn’t extended and that people aren’t fed. Too often, it’s for my vastly underappreciated talent. 🙂” will preach.

Lord, I’m so grateful that this molding and making all things new is in your hands, and not just mine. I’m so grateful that You who are in me is so much greater and wiser and more purposeful and perfect in your plan and timing. However you might use me, and even in my foolish wanderings, and even in my numerous weaknesses, and even in my own selfish yearnings that you are sifting and filtering and refining, may you be glorified. Please don’t let us speak, act, or work from our own resources, but from the Holy Spirit as our source, guide, comforter, protector, and teacher. We rejoice that the Lamb of God is worthy to open the scroll and its seven seals, hallelujah! Amen.

Please check out Brian Eshleman’s blog: http://brianesh73.blogspot.com/?m=1 And if you would be interested in receiving similar questions via text message regularly, let us know. Brian is one of my wisest advisors and mentors, and is far beyond me in his knowledge, wisdom, and deep insight into the Word of God. Where I am a novice blogger “keeping a journal” along my Christian journey, he is a writer and a poet preacher whose thoughts and musings are meat that will truly have you chewing and considering the awe and wonder of God.

Summer Reading Plans

Amazon just delivered some new reading materials for my upcoming vacay! When I think about the insane number of books that I’ve read up to this point, I think about four things:

1) The authors sharing valuable wisdom with me
2) The mentors who have made good recommendations to help me learn and grow
3) The books that I have been able to pass on through mentoring and my recommendations to others
4) The stark difference between aged books on a specific technical topic that all make their way to Goodwill eventually, vs so many strategic/theoretical books that remain collected treasures on my bookshelf

It seems that in IT, there is always a mix of learning technical information that with be good for 5-10 years max — vs learning skills, tactics, theories, and approaches that will continue building upon a solid foundation for decades. And you can’t beat OJT and real world experience for teaching us about both humbling victories and encouraging defeats.

And reading the Bible for wisdom is something that I was able to do when I was a child, and that I still enjoy in my forties. In fact, I have a dedicated bookcase these days just for Bibles send Bible study related books.

I’m not sharing this to brag or for “virtue signaling”. I’m sharing this because reading and authoring and mentoring is much more “profitable” to us as a society than arguing on Facebook, watching trending videos on the Internet, vegging out in front of the TV, or even being politically active. And “learning and sharing” (mentoring) is different than “preaching”.

I think that I became frustrated with my own circumstances recently because I was “preaching” — making myself heard and trying to prove myself right — instead of learning and sharing. It’s hard to get anyone but a captive audience to listen to such things, and it is easy to let one’s heart harden when one is blindly and loudly “preaching” — throwing seed around wildly with no thought as to what seed would be best, and with no attempts at plowing, mowing, weeding or maintaining.

I seem to go through seasons of my life where the circumstances and demands of the day, along with my responsibilities to family, friends, employer, etc. have me falling short time after time. I commit to a great idea of how I will do such and such each day, how I will stick to a certain schedule, how I will be consistent and unwavering. And I laugh at myself each time when I eventually fall short again of my “well intentioned plans”.

I’m going to tell you — read, grow, learn, preach, mentor, and live a purposeful life of worshipping God and spreading this Good News to the whole world. And when you look up and realize that things have drifted, that things have changed, that you need to refocus again — do it!

We all fall short. Don’t let the lies of the enemy tell you that because you fell short of your “perfect plan” that you ought to just give up and stop. No, God has a better plan than your best plan — and He has brought you to where you are for a time such as this. Don’t let the number of books on the shelf tell you anything about yourself — or the work you’ve done in the past be a measure of your success or failure. If God is for you, and He is in you, and He is with you, what can stand against you?

And if He isn’t, or if you aren’t sure that He is — then how about you talk with Him about that right now?