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Lord, I haven’t gone this way before. Hold my hand?

I tried something new tonight. I live streamed interactively on YouTube, FacebookLive, LinkedIn, and Twitch all at the same time.

Youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/live/R-aEx1ebPxQ?feature=share

Facebook:

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=863427918037199&id=1095150317&mibextid=Nif5oz

LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/haroldballinger_good-afternoon-friends-jan-4-2023-powered-activity-7016559595728891904-xg7J?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_android

Twitch:

https://www.twitch.tv/sparklecityhop/v/1697893146?sr=a&t=5s

I hope to eventually add Tiktok and Instagram as well. People on any platform can type questions or comments live in the chat, and I can answer them live.

I’ve done various pre-recorded videos in the past, but the amount of time that I would spend in post-production to try and make everything look and sound right just wasn’t sustainable as a one man team.

Plus, I feel like a prerecorded video is better if I have a specific topic that I’ve studied deeply and have a polished “teaching” message to deliver and to keep a record of long term.

But my intention with live interaction is to just hang out, in an imperfect, unpolished, and unpracticed setting. I want to be genuine and inviting as a person someone might want to talk to or get to know — not as much focused on wanting others to listen to what I have to say. It’s a subtle difference from what I’ve done in the past. And it seems to be more about making myself available and stretching myself to honest and transparent discussions “off the cuff”.

There are plenty of theologians and preachers out there with recorded lessons and sermons to watch — and I have a high school degree, no seminary, and less than a decade of intentional and focused study in The Word. I’m not going to share anything new that hasn’t already been said by one of them, and I sure wouldn’t want to tackle difficult topics and confuse or hinder someone (because even my best of intentions still fall short of perfection this side of glory).

So instead of just “teaching” or gathering others to “listen to me” — I want to make myself available to “listen” and to “interact” (if possible as a friend and a personal connection — on equal footing, not as a leader or teacher up on a stage).

It’s just something different that the Lord has laid on my heart. I still enjoy writing, singing, studying, etc. But I have little interest in debating theological positions if I can instead love people and share with them why I love God. I guess each person has their part in the body, and this is the donkey that He has me chasing. Lol!

Today’s YouVersion Bible app verse and devotional was definitely timely:

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/jer.29.11.NLT

Watch Jeremiah 29:11 by Luis Palau Association:

https://www.bible.com/en/videos/39337?orientation=portrait&utm_content=story_clip&utm_medium=share&utm_source=yvapp

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REVIEW: Chasing Donkeys, Dwayne Morris

“…he had an affection for people who were searching for their identity in things that were neither healthy nor safe.” – Dwayne Morris, Chasing Donkeys, Chapter 1

These words really hit home for me.

Ever since Jesus touched and changed my life 10 years ago, I have NOT been drawn to spend time with the “religious” and the “churched” that are a part of the many Southern religious traditions where I grew up.

But I have been drawn to make friends and spend time with people who might be labeled names like “homeless”, “addict”, “criminal”, “thief”, “foreigner”, “black”, “asian”, “immigrant”, “illegal”, “muslim”, “gay”, “lesbian”, “homosexual”, “stripper”, “prostitute”, “porn star”, “drunk”, “drug dealer”, “abortionist”, “transvestite”, “divorced”, “orphan”, “widow”, “grieving”, etc. — that clearly do NOT fit into the nice little cookie cutter conforming box of what I thought that White Evangelical Southern Baptist Republican Christianity looked like.

Dwayne continues a page later with “just another guy who loved Jesus and people, especially those who were searching for purpose, but in all the wrong places”. And while some might focus on the words “all the wrong places” as being somehow judgmental — I know what he is getting to here. I’ve tried so many unhealthy and unsafe things myself and excluded others who “weren’t like me” before I realized those were all the wrong places. So, I can’t fault anyone for ending up in the wrong places too, can I?

He continues just a paragraph later with “his passion for people who were living life far from God”, and it was another confirmation that maybe I’m not so uniquely “insane” in my passion and my drive to be close to people who probably don’t agree with or believe what I believe. And it is almost scary to admit that I am not passionate about being close to them in order to “convert them to my religion”, or to “change their mind”, or “win them over to Christ”. I just feel compelled to offer them my love and my friendship — without the judgement, or condemnation, or persecution, or vitriol that they have come to expect from “religious people”. I truly don’t know whether they will see the love of Christ that lives in me, and I truly don’t know if they will ever consider getting to know this Jesus that I know and love. But He rescued me and has filled me with a spirit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control that is so different than the self-righteous hypocrisy that most unbelievers would attribute to “religion”. My heart hopes that maybe, just maybe, He might reveal Himself to them. And even if He doesn’t, what better gift could I give them than my friendship, if they do not yet have His.

I don’t know that anyone would ever think this of me personally about my Jesus, but when Dwayne says on just the next page “it marked him as one who clearly loved the Lord Jesus Christ”, my heart soared at the thought that my love for the Lord might be so utterly foolish and naive to an unbeliever — yet still so undeniable. Even if they pity me for my belief in something so childishly foolish, maybe they might envy me just the slightest for what love it produces towards them in my life?

And several pages later on page 26, I get to the man’s asking “I need to know more about that Jesus you were talking about…” and the opportunity that came of “talked with Ricky for an hour and a half about what Jesus Christ meant to him”. Many would focus on “eventually guided Ricky in a prayer…”, but I can tell you truthfully that I’m more excited about the “getting to tell what Jesus means to me part”. Because the Lord is going to do what He is going to do, when He is going to do it, when it comes down to someone “surrendering their life”. He doesn’t need my help in that department, and I sure don’t need to act like I should get any credit for any part of it. But to get to genuinely open my heart up about how good He has been to me? That is so very precious, my friends.

So just like Dwayne shares a paragraph later, I too am “just trying to follow the greatest commandments of loving God and loving people”. If you see me sharing scripture or talking about Him, I honestly can’t help it — I just love that He loves me. And He loves YOU TOO.

Check out Dwayne’s book, Chasing Donkeys on Amazon https://a.co/d/gwXW8kn

I’m still reading it myself, and so far, it has really been a blessing.

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I Hear You, Lord

“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.

Revelation 3:20 NLT

Some great insight on Revelation 3:20  by Pierre Du Plessis – The Father’s House:

https://www.bible.com/en/videos/27189?orientation=portrait&utm_content=story_clip&utm_medium=share&utm_source=yvapp

A great worship song that we can soak into while contemplating and lifting our prayer:

https://youtu.be/GzQpptEdivA

I want Jesus to be my first love. I have played Gomer far too many times in my walk and have been distracted far too many times by my own complacency and life’s circumstances. My grief has overtaken me at times and so has my doubt. Other times it has simply been my lack of love for those He loves. I have walked through too many of my days awake yet asleep, treating time as if each breath wasn’t precious but could be wasted or overlooked — letting the oil in my lamp go too long without fresh oil being poured.

Lord, help me — your wandering Lamb who can’t even walk without holding your hand. I have not been a great warrior in every battle. I have not done great wonders in your name with each opportunity before me. I have not been a great, shining example of your love and a hope to all those in need around me.

Yet, I have seen you work even through someone like me, and I know You can do it again, and that You will finish the work that You have started. I do not need men to remember me or my name. But if even through my weaknesses and my many failures they might see that your flame burns bright within this house — they will know Your mercy and Your grace, and see Your glory, and long to know You. Amen.