Kill Everyone

Exodus 32:25-29 NLT
Moses saw that Aaron had let the people get completely out of control, much to the amusement of their enemies. So he stood at the entrance to the camp and shouted, “All of you who are on the Lord’s side, come here and join me.” And all the Levites gathered around him. Moses told them, “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: Each of you, take your swords and go back and forth from one end of the camp to the other. Kill everyone—even your brothers, friends, and neighbors.” The Levites obeyed Moses’ command, and about 3,000 people died that day. Then Moses told the Levites, “Today you have ordained yourselves for the service of the Lord, for you obeyed him even though it meant killing your own sons and brothers. Today you have earned a blessing.”

https://bible.com/bible/116/exo.32.25-29.NLT

Matthew 19:23-30 NLT
Then Jesus said to his disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is very hard for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. I’ll say it again—it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!” The disciples were astounded. “Then who in the world can be saved?” they asked. Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.” Then Peter said to him, “We’ve given up everything to follow you. What will we get?” Jesus replied, “I assure you that when the world is made new and the Son of Man sits upon his glorious throne, you who have been my followers will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or property, for my sake, will receive a hundred times as much in return and will inherit eternal life. But many who are the greatest now will be least important then, and those who seem least important now will be the greatest then.

https://bible.com/bible/116/mat.19.23-30.NLT

If the Lord calls us to give up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or property, for his sake — what is our answer?

If the man of God told us because of the people’s great sin,  “take your swords and go back and forth from one end of the camp to the other. Kill everyone—even your brothers, friends, and neighbors.” — what is our response?

When God calls us to lay aside anything that hinders our walk and our calling — what have we treated as sacred, as off limits,  as okay to allow the enemy a foothold,  rather than it being slain?

What area of our life do we need to repent and give over fully to God?

I give myself away

Readings:

Exodus 29, 30

Mark 6

Proverbs 5

Exodus 29:13-14 NLT
Take all the fat around the internal organs, the long lobe of the liver, and the two kidneys and the fat around them, and burn it all on the altar. [14] Then take the rest of the bull, including its hide, meat, and dung, and burn it outside the camp as a sin offering.

https://bible.com/bible/116/exo.29.13-14.NLT

I love considering what the various things symbolize. It is curious to me how the bull and ram sacrifices differ. The bull is a larger animal than the ram & only it’s insides were burned on the altar as an aroma to God. Everything visible was burned outside the camp as a sin offering. This reminds me how it isn’t the outwardly visible acts that are what is pleasing to God, but He wants a humble and surrendered heart.

I’m also reminded of the “Micah Mandate”:

Micah 6:8 NLT
[8] No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.

https://bible.com/bible/116/mic.6.8.NLT

  • Act justly: Do what is right and fair, not just what is popular.
  • Love mercy: Show loyalty and faithfulness to God’s love by loving others.
  • Walk humbly: Be mindful of how you live before God, without arrogance.

We should look to the example of Christ in his humility and lay aside our own interests for the interests of others. Christ is our “well of goodness and hope and justice and mercy” in us, and we share that with our neighbors. 

You know,  I don’t have anything worthy to bring to the God of all creation. There is nothing that God needs from little old me or you, and isn’t it obvious that there is nothing we could do to earn a truly righteous and holy God’s favor. We’ve all made mistakes. In fact, we’ve all done things intentionally that we knew were bad, that hurt others, that hurt ourselves, that weren’t good, honest or just.

So no matter how far we’ve fallen our strayed from where we know we should be — it really isn’t about how good or bad we have been. If it was about how good or bad we’ve been, one person would say “but God made me this way” as an excuse for their wickedness — and another person would say “look how much better I am than those sinners” — and neither would know God or understand anything about Him (no matter their choice of religion or tradition).

But God offers an invitation through Jesus Christ to come as you are,  to give yourself away,  with a promise that He will do the work in and through you — that His grace and mercy and love will be sufficient to endure you through to the end. What a miraculous and very different thing than all of the false religions and checklist laws of mere men! A God who says and proves that He can and will change hearts and lives from the inside out!

I sang this worship song last night that reminds me: https://www.smule.com/sing-recording/369168369_5021686997

This is a worship medley with some impromptu free worship that I encourage you to listen to and join us in from wherever you are — consider the call of the lyrics, look to Jesus personally, and see for yourself that He is good.

Love you,  my friends!

What mess is God calling us to toss away?

Readings:

Genesis 35, 36, 37

I love how after Jacob’s sons sought vengeance and ruined the family’s reputation that you see the Lord lead them back to Bethel the “House of God”. And I love that it was God who told Jacob where to go and that he listened and obeyed.

And Jacob told his family in very clear instructions and practical application what they were going to do to “purify themselves”. He had them cast away anything that might hinder them.

I wonder how many things in our own households there are that we might let our family fall into little by little inch by inch,  until they have compromised themselves so much that they go and do something foolish in a time of great struggle and ruin our family name?

On a personal note,  my husbandly and parental approach to leading our household has been to come alongside my family and offer wisdom and teach them how to personally choose wisdom over foolishness so they mature spiritually to be able to govern themselves — rather than acting authoritarian and sheltering them, banning access to certain things,  etc. I try to encourage them to trust in the strength of God Almighty rather than fear the schemes of the wicked. We have open discussions about things that my daughter may ask about our be curious about rather than hide it from her. We want to be a safe place for anyone who is struggling with any kind of issue so they don’t feel they have to hide it from us or feel condemned. This doesn’t mean that we ourselves justify or want to participate in wicked things, but we want to be genuine,  honest and transparent about the things and areas of our life where we are being humble,  repenting and seeking sanctification by the Holy Spirit. If a friend is struggling with something,  we want them to see our pattern of:

1) God revealing our own foolishness to us

2) Us listening to wisdom and valuing it

3) Us humbling ourselves in surrender to do what God asks us to do

4) Us turning away from foolishness and wickedness to move closer to God

5) God empowering us to endure

6) Rinse and repeat

We would rather our lives demonstrate this pattern of loving one another, being just and fair, offering mercy to others,  and humbly walking with God — than just be a loud gong telling everyone else what is banned, what is not permitted, what is dangerous, and what is shameful.

There is a serious danger to us when we let our lives get weighed down by things that hinder our walk with God. And if  we are wise enough to focus on cleaning out our house physically if  we ever find evidence of bugs or rodents — shouldn’t we be even more diligent to clean out our lives of things that are not godly or wise and to seek God with a renewed passion when we can see the signs of spiritual decay or ignorance?

And isn’t it wonderful how in Jacob leading his family through this cleansing process,  this return to the Lord for his household,  that God tells Jacob his new name and his specific covenant promise and purpose?

As I read all of these names,  I am reminded that my name “Harold” means “army-ruler” or “powerful in war” — and to be a “herald” means a person or thing that announces news, or a person or thing that precedes something else. I do not rule or even lead in the sense of an earthly rule might.  But I can stir up and muster and gather together my family and friends in the spiritual warfare that is at hand.

What is God calling us to lay aside today so that we will not be hindered in our calling and our purpose, my friends?

Don’t Hide, “Hurry On” to your Purpose

Readings:

Genesis 27, 28, 29

Isn’t it beautiful how Jacob reacts to a vision of how the spiritual and physical are connected:

Genesis 28:12 NLT
As he slept, he dreamed of a stairway that reached from the earth up to heaven. And he saw the angels of God going up and down the stairway.

And he makes the same mistake many of us make when we encounter the power of God moving:

Genesis 28:16-17 NLT
Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I wasn’t even aware of it!” But he was also afraid and said, “What an awesome place this is! It is none other than the house of God, the very gateway to heaven!”

He is so surprised that God and His messengers are clearly active and influencing things here on earth.  And he gets hung up on the physical place where it happened, rather than understanding that it was a healing of his heart and his spirit that allowed him to see through the veil.

He thought there was something special “about this physical place where my body lay” rather than understand there there is something special “about where his life had taken him that prepared his heart and his mind to be able to receive God’s revelation”.

He knew that his brother was seeking to kill him. He knew that he was on the run from the possible consequences of his deceitful actions. We can only imagine that he knew that so much of his life had been flipped upside down and that he was clearly not in control of the narrative. He had gone beyond what his manipulations and deceiving could do to keep him safe.

Many men have found God in a jail cell of their own making — facing the reality of possible consequences of their own foolish actions. They might pray “take away the consequences, God, and I’ll never do it again” — usually lying to themselves and to God. But occasionally a man’s pride is broken enough that he is ready to consider what God might teach him,  rather than just seeking a “get out of jail free card” from the genie in the sky.

It is the latter place, that place of a humble heart that the messengers of God travel to and from seeking out on earth — and they do this in order to reveal heavenly things to mere men. It isn’t a certain church, a certain place,  or a certain row in front of a stage and pulpit where the veil is pulled back to reveal the awe and wonder of God’s messengersand work. It is in the place of a humble and contrite spirit.  Because God resists the proud.

So more than seeking the right church,  or the right preacher,  or the right small group,  or the right friends — we should seek out where we need to repent and be humbled.

The messages and messengers behind that veil and represented (most likely metaphorically rather than mechanically/literally) upon that spiritual ladder are holy — and should be given the due amount of fear and reverence. So it is no surprise that Jacob celebrated with a marker.

But he did not get dissuaded from his appointed journey by being tempted to just find a pew and sit at this Bethel (this “house of God”) to meditate like a monk the rest of his days. So I’m reminded to not be so much in awe of the miracles, the healing, the deliverance, the visions, and all that comes in deep spiritual warfare — but for that awe and wonder to be in God who orchestrated and holds it all together.

The “house of God” is not a place to sit and rot or hide for the rest of our days, but serves as a marker to remind us to “hurry on” to our purpose like Jacob does in the first verse of chapter 29.

Hiding in a religious building is not the church, no matter how many gather there, or how noticeable the marker is — power is not bound to a physical location. The real Church, the “capital C Church” is that ladder vision in action — through humble and contrite people who have a reverent fear for the Lord, an overflowing love for God and His children, a convicting hunger for justice and what is right,  and a compassionate deduction to mercy.  Amen.

Follow the Steps of the Good

Readings:

Genesis 41,42

Matthew 14, 15

Psalms 12

My comments during today’s gathering:

Wise Counsel, Radical Servant, or Foolish Pride

Readings:

Genesis 40, 41

Matthew 14

Proverbs 2

I was convicted by Pastor Russ’s sermon on January 19th at 4 Points Church to remember what God has done and to be willing to fail more and to be willing to be proven a fool for the glory of God:

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1AoKBbuhPF/

And it inspired me to search for a lesson I had posted years ago by Google searching for “walking on water site:hballinger.com”:

https://hballinger.com/2018/09/25/human-effort-accomplishes-nothing/

All of this got me thinking about things I used to do more regularly (that I would testify was the Lord doing amazing things very different from what I used to do on my own):

  • Post daily devotionals/ bible studies
  • Anonymous prayer walks around and through area hospitals
  • Anonymous prayer walks around and through areas of homelessness, drugs and poverty
  • Anonymous Bible study and prayer time around and inside strip clubs and other places that were familiar to me in my foolish, darker days
  • Visit area churches anonymously to encourage them and to know how to pray for them and give an honest recommendation to anyone who might live close to them
  • Lead weekly Bible studies inside the jail cell block
  • Preach and teach with my life as often as I could,  and use a pulpit when necessary
  • Share worship, messages of faith, and speak openly about foolish vs wise and good vs wicked publicly (even to the point of facing very real consequences in career, friends, and places of worship)

And all of this bold, “Send me, I will go” and “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water” activity led me through amazing times of miraculous awe and wonder — then quite abruptly into a wilderness season of grieving for the loss of dealy departed loved ones who were such powerful prayer warriors and wise counsel for me, COVID, and career change.  I have been mostly in isolation, being fed by the ravens, listening for the still, quiet voice of the Lord — and sometimes letting my frustration and doubt tempt me to wander like a sheep, as if I were a ship with no rudder. But His hand never left hiding me, even in the darkest hours.

So now, I am starting something new. And I’m seeking and listening to the wise counsel that I can muster around me who hasn’t yet abandoned this old fool. And I’m not as afraid of the storm as I once was, but I’m still renewing my strength in Him. So if you see me step out but take my eyes off of Him and do under the waves — please don’t berate me from inside the boat. I’m just offering Him the opportunity to show up and show out, so please see what He is doing that is amazing,  don’t just focus on this old fool making expected mistakes.

At times, I may have turned you away, offended you, or forgotten you during this time — and I’m sorry, my friends. But as much and often as I fail you, He will never fail you. So I urge you to also make Him a better friend than I can be on my own.

Thank you Jesus!

If you need help, prayer, healing, assistance, etc. please consider joining the Bible Plan we are reading in the YouVersion Bible App:

Bible in a Year: 365-Day Reading Plan   http://bible.com/r/4×4

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Looks, Smells, Tastes, Feels like Jealousy

Readings:

Genesis 25, 26

Genesis 26:15 NLT
So the Philistines filled up all of Isaac’s wells with dirt. These were the wells that had been dug by the servants of his father, Abraham.

Jealousy.

If what I’m doing is pouring dirt into others’ water — no matter if “I’m helping correct where they are wrong” — no matter if “I have good intentions” — no matter how I’ve justified my actions in my own mind — it will likely be jealousy on some level. Even if it isn’t jealousy, it will look like, smell like, taste like, and feel like jealousy to everyone who encounters it.

So what have I done lately that was complaining about someone else? Judging someone else? making assumptions about their motivations? being overly critical for their mistakes?

Lord, help me to leave all forms of vengeance to you. Help me to remember my calling as your servant is to love you by loving them, and testify what you have done for me.

The People will Rise Up

Today’s chapters:

Genesis 19, 20, 21

As we read the Old Testament, we can be shocked by the cultural differences.  Reading about men offering over their wives and daughters to other men so that they all might survive the ordeal seems so foreign to people who live with houses, streets, phones, internet, with police a call away, and with everything we want delivered to our doorstep by Amazon.

It seems that evil lurks in the shadows enough to leave us more unaware and complacent to its existence these days. But there are places still today where rape and torture and beheadings are still expected behavior when the mobs are angered.

I’m sure that the American government is looking at the atrocities that occurred during the French revolution and has some heightened sense of the possibility of evil that could rise up when they are calling the killer of a Healthcare CEO a hero and a patriot — and when their control over the narrative slips further from their hands with each move they make to try and censor their people.  So we can’t think that true evil and wickedness like this unruly mob in Sodom couldn’t rise up “in civilized places”. There are monsters within the flesh and demonic powers eager to rise up when no one fears the Lord anymore and they just take abvantage of others with no care for what is right or just. The rise of angry mobs and of foolish leaders is always a judgement of God upon the hearts of the people.

Sodom had the chance to repent and turn to God, and so does every nation that veers too far off the path into doing evil to its own people until they refuse to take it anymore.

We see the end of Sodom, and all nations of men will some day come to their end, just like every man is appointed to die.

The call for us individually,  and as a nation is to return to God, or even to turn to God for the first time of they never truly have!

The Bible contains many passages that call for nations to return to God, including Isaiah 55:5-6, Jeremiah 31, and Hosea 6:1-3

Isaiah 55:5-6 

  • Calls for nations to come to God because of his glory
  • Says that nations will come to Israel because of God

Jeremiah 31 

  • Promises that Israel will return to God and be rebuilt
  • Says that God will protect Israel like a shepherd
  • Promises to give Israel grain, grapes, and olive oil

Hosea 6:1-3 

  • Calls for people to return to God because he will heal them
  • Says that God will revive and raise people up

Other Bible verses that mention nations and God include: 

  • Isaiah 45:22
  • Isaiah 49:6
  • Isaiah 52:10
  • Isaiah 56:7
  • Isaiah 61:11
  • Isaiah 66:18
  • Psalms 22:27-28
  • Jeremiah 29:7

Lord,  we know that when the people face oppression and injustice at the hands of evil and wicked leaders, they will only take so much before they will rise up. This has been true from Sodom and throughout the rise and fall of so many man made nations, tribes and kingdoms. But the kingdom of God that passes all boundaries of land, water, race and culture is the only hope men can have to find justice and mercy and the peace that is needed. As you correct and discipline and place in power every ruler (and not just the ones seen with a title, but even those hiding behind the scenes), may you bless them a hundred fold as they have been a blessing to those they have blessed that they rule,  and may you curse and repay them a thousand fold as they have been a curse upon those they have cursed with their rule. May you rise up leadership that is not sold out to evil and wickedness,  and rise up your people who love one another to rule with wisfom, understanding, fairness, boldness, mercy and justice all in the right measures. May your Kingdom Come on earth as it is in Heaven. Amen.

Wisely Choosing Silence

Today’s chapters:

Genesis 36, 37

Matthew 13

Psalms 10

The very first thing that we hear about Joseph’s character at the age of 17 is that:

Genesis 37:2d NLT
But Joseph reported to his father some of the bad things his brothers were doing.

Modern culture might label Joseph a “snitch”, but we don’t know how bad the things the brothers were doing here — or how much those things endangered the family, etc. We do see that Joseph “chose to speak about it”.

It is also clear that these half-brothers had chosen to make an enemy out of Joseph his whole life:

Genesis 37:4 NLT
But his brothers hated Joseph because their father loved him more than the rest of them. They couldn’t say a kind word to him.

Notably, it can have a devastating effect on children’s development when a parent plays favorites and spoils a child, and it can make them a target:

Genesis 37:3 NLT
Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other children because Joseph had been born to him in his old age. So one day Jacob had a special gift made for Joseph—a beautiful robe.

Admittedly, Joseph’s telling his brothers his dream might have been innocent or it could have likely been boasting. There is no question that it seems either very foolish and naive or extremely prideful, (Depending on our own assumptions when we first read this, right?)

While reading this, I’m immediately reminded of wise advice from the New Testament book of James that we should consider when it comes to “choosing to speak” (especially when sharing our vision and our plans):

James 4:13-17 NLT
Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” Otherwise you are boasting about your own pretentious plans, and all such boasting is evil. Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.

Admittedly,  these were dreams and visions sent from God to Joseph, not “his own pretentious plans”, but there is still wisdom in being silent unless God tells us to speak on such things.

There is something the world calls strategic secrecy that could also be rooted in the categories of humility and wisdom that the Bible teaches.

Strategic Secrecy

“Don’t tell your plans to your enemies” means that you should keep your future intentions and strategies confidential, especially from people who might actively try to hinder your progress or success; essentially, avoid giving your opponents any information that could allow them to sabotage your plans. 

Key points about this phrase:

  • Strategic secrecy: By not sharing your plans, you prevent your enemies from anticipating your moves and taking action to thwart them.
  • Maintaining an advantage: Keeping your plans close to your chest gives you the element of surprise and allows you to react flexibly to situations. 

Having a vision, a plan, and dedicating ourselves to hard work are wise:

Take time 

  • Proverbs 21:5: “The plans of the diligent lead to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty”
  • Luke 14:28-33: Consider the cost before starting a project

Seek counsel 

  • Proverbs 15:22: “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed”

Commit to the Lord

  • Proverbs 16:3: “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans” 
  • Proverbs 16:9: “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” 

Plan for good 

  • Proverbs 14:22: “Do not those who plot evil go astray? But those who plan what is good find love and faithfulness”

Plan with pure motives

  • Proverbs 21:5-8: Careful planning leads to success in the long run 
  • Biblical Leadership: God blesses planning that is pure-hearted, prayerful, and seeks to glorify Him

I can tell you from a mountain of personal experience, that God does bless and encourage planning. But how He gets us to our vision and purpose rarely looks exactly like we expected or planned for. Joseph definitely couldn’t have expected from these dreams the turmoil and chaos that was going to come into his life as part of fulfilling these dreams,  right?

Lord, help us to not play favorites and create division by doing so — the consequences can cause unnecessary pain, heartache, and chaos, even if we know you will eventually turn it to good for those who love and obey you. Help us to repent and make amends where we have done this. And Lord, help us to not be jealous and envious — living in a victim mindset instead of a grateful mindset will lead us to justifying all kinds of wickedness and evil against others we have painted in our minds as an “enemy” when they are truly just an imperfect brother/neighbor trying to make their way through this journey as well. Help us to forgive and make amends where we have done this. Lord, help us to plan alongside with your wise counsel and the counsel of wise advisors, but there is nothing to gain in sharing our pearls with those who won’t appreciate it, who won’t help us get there, and who might oppose us. Lord, help us to be more quiet about what we are “going to do” and more active and diligent in what we are “doing to get there”. And keep us in your presence and on this narrow path as we fulfill the good works you have set before us.  Correct us in your gentle mercy when we are tempted to be cystectomy or stray, for your glory not our own boasting. May we continue to be genuinely humble about this work you do and the blessings you provide, and to repent and make amends when we have not. Amen.

Why do people say one thing and then do the opposite?

A friend online posed this question:

My immediate thoughts were:

Usually because in a moment, they let the desires of their flesh and their pride and ego lead them to compromise their integrity with little regard for the consequences.

Especially if they have no firm foundation with regards to their values and beliefs to guide them, they might listen to their own heart on the matter, which can get people into all kinds of compromising situations.

And people learn to lie by watching those around them. Look at the examples of politicians, of media/news, of television shows, of social media posts where so many people are thinking only of their agenda, wants, feelings, opinions, etc — with no real interest in what is right or just our fair or reasonable.

So unless they see someone who is willing to admit, “I was wrong” and “I lied and that was wrong, and here’s what I’m going to do to try and make things right from what I’ve done that was wrong” — until they see that example (instead of people pointing out other’s lies and continuing to lie themselves) — what can we expect but for them to mimic the example we are giving them?

Yes, fearing God, and loving what is right, and turning away from what is bad is the best answer for a liar to become a source of truth.

But the concept of God is the most horrible lie to someone who only knows liars — they just see hypocrite religious teachers getting rich off of their followers when they hear “God” or “religion” mentioned, because they expect God to just be another liar and charleton (like what they know of themselves and of everyone else).

So we need to see the cost of being a liar ourselves (not just hope everyone else would be truthful, but we could still lie to gain an advantage).

This is necessary before we can even consider the value of genuine truth, of wisdom that does not change with the opinions of a culture or time, something truly pure, and holy and righteous without any hint of deceit — that is so unlike mere man.

And then, we might seek out this holy God to see if He is just a myth, or yet another lie.

His Word says that His promises are true and that He can not lie. Have we sought Him and tested to see if this is true?

Have we asked Him to teach us to be like Him so that we can turn from our lying ways?

We can’t control, demand, or expect others to not lie to us when it is convenient for them — if we still mitigate those “harmless little less” when it is convenient for us. So let’s focus on cleaning up our own house and sweeping it clean first — and if we can’t keep our own house clean by ourselves,  let’s ask someone stronger and more powerful and more truthful than ourselves for help.