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Mistakes and Failure

Once a mistake or failure is past you, move on. Focus on the next task at hand, and at giving it your absolute best. Consider what you might have learned for how you might improve and grow, so that your direction is looking forward not just looking back. Real life and real living comes with risks, challenges and momentary failures — but these are expected along the path to victory.

Life has taught me that my victory is assured — I just need to keep pressing forward instead of letting the past distract me. There is no victory in sitting still and looking back — we may do that on our dying day, and we should consider that a motivation to make today count. The victory is in refusing defeat in THIS moment, and pressing on.

Yesterday, I sat by myself at Ricky’s drive thru eating my hotdogs, deep in thought over the million choices and responsibilities that were running through my head. A young man approached me and asked if I could help him, and I checked my wallet almost mindlessly and saw that I had no money to give him. In fact, I began my reply to him without even coming out of my dazed condition — but I awoke from my daydreaming to see the opportunity to give him kindness and love. We went to the counter together and ordered him some food, exchanged names and I found out that he has a Muslim friend with a similar name as me. We laughed and shook hands and after a while went out own ways. I hope that I might get to talk with Floyd again sometime soon — his moment of need meeting with my ability to show him kindness was a special blessing that pulled me out of a lot of internal thinking to consider what I could actually DO at that moment to make a difference.

I share this because I can get stuck in a mindset that produces a lot of thinking, or even a lot of talking — but the DOING is what matters. Floyd and I were both facing challenges before our encounter, but he ACTED on asking for help, and I ACTED on what I could do. Together, we both helped each other in a wonderful way. He could have seen differences in my skin, clothes, etc. and assumed me an enemy (or I could have done the same), and we both would have missed out. We could have seen each other as opponents, trying to “get something” from each other — and we would have both missed it.

I wonder who I will get to play alongside in life’s tennis match today? I wonder how we will each get to enjoy points won (and points lost) as a part of that great victory we are living through. I wonder how many useless worries about challenges or failure will fall away to be replaced by a faith that victory is inevitable.

Psalms 37:23-40 NLT
The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.
Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.
Once I was young, and now I am old. Yet I have never seen the godly abandoned or their children begging for bread.
The godly always give generous loans to others, and their children are a blessing.
Turn from evil and do good, and you will live in the land forever.
For the Lord loves justice, and he will never abandon the godly. He will keep them safe forever, but the children of the wicked will die.
The godly will possess the land and will live there forever.
The godly offer good counsel; they teach right from wrong.
They have made God’s law their own, so they will never slip from his path.
The wicked wait in ambush for the godly, looking for an excuse to kill them.
But the Lord will not let the wicked succeed or let the godly be condemned when they are put on trial.
Put your hope in the Lord. Travel steadily along his path. He will honor you by giving you the land. You will see the wicked destroyed.
I have seen wicked and ruthless people flourishing like a tree in its native soil.
But when I looked again, they were gone! Though I searched for them, I could not find them!
Look at those who are honest and good, for a wonderful future awaits those who love peace. [38] But the rebellious will be destroyed; they have no future.
The Lord rescues the godly; he is their fortress in times of trouble.
The Lord helps them, rescuing them from the wicked. He saves them, and they find shelter in him.

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Facing, not Avoiding

This is a challenging time for us. We have made commitments that stretch us thinner than usual and that challenge us daily, weekly and monthly in uncomfortable ways — yet we have made those commitments because we decided together as a family that they are worth it. Since making those commitments, we have faced many unexpected challenges that have tested our resolve and our commitment. And a few times when life has recently kicked us in the face, my wife has had to remind me or I have had to remind her that it is all going to be okay and that God is still in control. And I know that my daughter is seeing first hand how we handle these situations — that we aren’t always strong, that we don’t always get it right, that things can be stressful or scary, and that we don’t always trust God as faithfully as we should.

My daughter and I love riding Rollercoaster and thrill rides together. And some of the best rides are the ones that still scare us. Choosing to face that fear each time, knowing that there will be fear but that there will also be the thrill of a new experience together is fun within the safety of a ride designed and tested by skilled engineers and properly maintained by theme park operators. In a similar way, choosing to face fear in life offers an opportunity to experience life’s opportunities more abundantly — if we are confident and trusting that God is with us and will not abandon us.

In everything we do, there is a chance of failure — but even in failure there is an opportunity to learn, grow and improve. And there are other common fears of things like fear of abandonment, death, the unknown, physical harm, rejection, embarrassment/ humiliation, etc. But for each of these fears, we all deal with situations in life at some point that offer fear as an obstacle (or even fear as a choice).

Fear does not have to be our default setting. Or even if fear is our default setting or first reaction in a situation, we do not have to let it remain in control. Fear is not always irrational — we will all die, we will all fail, we will all be rejected — we must accept reality when it comes to these things. We will not always have a villain to name, and we will not always understand a clear reason behind why things happen a certain way.

For some good additional reading on fear, see this article: Identifying the Three Fundamental Fears: Death, Abandonment, and Failure by Jim Dubos https://stenzelclinical.com/identifying-the-three-fundamental-fears-death-abandonment-and-failure/#:~:text=Fear%20of%20the%20unknown%20is,Abandonment%20or%20Fear%20of%20Failure

Jim says about fear:

This is why God is not and never will be obsolete. He will never leave you, His love is not earned, and He has conquered death.  Death, rejection, and failure will happen, but you do not have to live in fear of them.

Jim Dubos, Identifying the Three Fundamental Fears: Death, Abandonment, and Failure

What have we chosen today — choosing to our fears or facing them?

What have we not handed over to Him?

What areas of our lives and our challenges have we not trusted Him with fully?

Lord, forgive us for our lack of trust in you. Heal our foolish unbelief. Help us to be courageous and strong in you, especially not just in ourselves. Do not allow the enemy to steal from us by way of fear. May it be so clearly evident to all that it is foolish to not trust you, that you do not fail, and that you do not abandon. Amen.

‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭31:6‬ ‭AMP‬
[6] Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble in dread before them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not fail you or abandon you.”

https://bible.com/bible/1588/deu.31.6.AMP