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But I want to touch the hot stove top!!!

Last night we got to hear my daughter play in her band concert and enjoy her talents and her commitment to making music and the arts part of her life. We will get to hear her chorus concert next week. This weekend she will have friends over for her birthday party. We are getting to celebrate moments like this, and we get to be involved in the day to day commitment and challenges that allow for these celebrations. Teenage girl relationships are not always easy to navigate, and committing to practice is not always the most fun choice available to her in a given moment — but they are a part of the process.

I want my daughter to work hard, do well and succeed — but these are not the reasons that I love her. I cannot imagine disowning her (or my love for her ever ending) because of something shameful or foolish she might do in life. It isn’t her strength that I love, and I don’t hate the things about her that will improve over time with growth. She doesn’t have to earn my love — it is constant.

And as a father who loves his daughter and wants the best for her, love isn’t just letting her have her own way — it is helping her learn, teaching her discipline, correcting her, and sharing the values of wisdom and faith.

It seems that it is easy for us to be confused about God’s love for His children. We might hear things about “fearing God”, about “His wrath”, about “His law”, about “hell” — and be reminded of abusive people who want people to fear them, who are full of wrath and vengeance, and who enjoy hurting and torturing others — and we cannot see any good in serving, sorting, praising or worshipping such people. If we do not know God as a loving Father and do not trust that He is merciful, we might miss out on His love.

Since she was very young, we have taught my daughter that there are expectations that we should all have in our household when it comes to respectful behavior towards each other. We’ve also shared with her that we are helping her to grow into a healthy, responsible, caring, self-sufficient, and productive adult and that some of this long term growth may be contrary to her own wants, desires, passions, opinions, and feelings at any given moment. So having wise advisors that you can trust, who can provide outside perspective and not just be an echo chamber amplifying our own desires and demands of the moment — this is valuable.

Life comes with enough unexpected consequences for poor decisions — so when she was young, we tried to explain why certain decisions/choices were bad and set up known punishments/ consequences we could enforce to help her learn to avoid things that could be a very real danger later in life. Simple “rules” helped before she was old enough to be reasoned with. Then explanations, expectations and consequences when she could be taught precepts and concepts. And at some point it seems we might transition into more of a supportive advisor role.

My point in this is that we’ve had the concept of a belt, and she has understood very clearly from a young age what actions would result in the belt being used — and that was enough. We have never wanted to use it, and we have never had to use it on her — but she knew that we were WILLING to use it IF she demanded by her actions that we correct her in that way now — so that she wouldn’t establish patterns in her behavior that could be very dangerous to her as an adult.

This is how I see God as my good Father in Heaven. This is how I can have a reverent fear and awe of Him and of His mercy — because I know it is not that He demands that I arbitrarily do it “his way” just to satisfy his demands — no! He loves me and wants the best for me. He wants to protect me from things that are dangerous to me and that will steal from me. There is wisdom behind why he teaches me these things even when I might not feel like hearing them — because they are good for me! He even knows that at times when I’m feeling defiant, that I’m not going to want to hear Him, and that I’m going to sometimes try to ignore Him and do it my own way.

He doesn’t only love me when I’m “obedient” — in fact, it isn’t about being obedient to some arbitrary list of rules. A spoiled toddler might throw a tantrum about mommy and daddy saying “No” when they try to touch the hot stove top. But are so many of us spiritually still raging toddlers (who refuse to understand and trust that God’s guidance is wise and good and for our own benefit)?

It is see inspiring to realize how the favor of God is revealed when we listen to and follow His wisdom. He has created and architected everything — so trusting and following wisdom from Him is better than relying on our own strength. If one man has a detailed map of safe instructions for a long and dangerous journey, and another has a fun, fast car with loud music, the scent of drugs floating out of the windows and no plan or sense of direction — which of these will a wise person choose and which one is for the fool?

Lord, help us to appreciate and be in awe of the wisdom and guidance that you offer us. Help us to wait and trust when we cannot see it, help us to know your mercy and your love. When we have put ourselves in danger, please correction us not in anger but with what must be done to set us back on the path. Help us to learn wisdom and give up our foolishness. Help us to give up on striving for our own desires or even striving to prove our own worth and to rest in our Father’s love. Amen.

‭Psalms‬ ‭147:10‭-‬11‬ ‭AMP‬
[10] He does not delight in the strength (military power) of the horse, Nor does He take pleasure in the legs (strength) of a man. [11] The Lord favors those who fear and worship Him [with awe-inspired reverence and obedience], Those who wait for His mercy and lovingkindness.

https://bible.com/bible/1588/psa.147.10.AMP

hballingerLeave a comment

Cadence and Consistency along The Way

I got to go on a 4 mile hike in the mountains with a friend yesterday. Things have been a bit stressful lately and it was so nice to get away outside in nature, get some exercise, and get my mind off of everything else.

When I’m able to start my day with a quiet devotional, get outside for exercise regularly, spend time in praise and prayer, eat healthier, and maintain a grateful attitude, no matter the chaos, challenges (or even loss and grief) — I don’t find myself overwhelmed, depressed or hopeless with a negative or victim mindset.

There is something about having an expectant mindset and a purposeful and intentional approach to each day that shifts not only my perspective, but that helps me rise above the circumstances. And I can be expectant and intentional if there is something that I can hope and put my trust in.

Walking in The Way isn’t about finding a way to change our stinking thinking so that we can be more prosperous — it isn’t a self help trick to manifest our best life now either. We seek the Lord, we want to know Him better, we want to walk with Him and better understand His ways, we put our trust in His promises and His guidance, and we follow Him. And when we are walking close with Him, and have our eyes set upon eternity, the little things of this world just don’t seem as important or scary or tempting.

When I hike, if I can maintain a steady cadence — like a drum beat that gets neither slower or faster — I can hike for much further distances without getting as tired and without my body, muscles and joints aching as much afterwards. I will lengthen or shorten my steps depending on the trail itself, but maintaining a constant cadence in hiking and biking helps me with my endurance and my recovery. And maintaining a steady and consistent cadence of seeking the Lord and putting my hope in Him helps me endure whatever life has to throw at me and rise above it.

If there is something that is wrong you down, if you find something is making you easy, show, tired, or overwhelmed — I encourage you to seek the Lord more consistently, to put your trust in Him more fully, to decide to follow Him, and to experience the power and strength that He will renew you with. Amen.

‭Isaiah‬ ‭40:31‬ ‭AMP‬
[31] But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] Will gain new strength and renew their power; They will lift up their wings [and rise up close to God] like eagles [rising toward the sun]; They will run and not become weary, They will walk and not grow tired.

https://bible.com/bible/1588/isa.40.31.AMP

hballingerLeave a comment

Waiting isn’t even about what is “missing”…

My truck was stolen on Friday, and we’re working with the police and insurance to see what can be done. But something like this isn’t resolved overnight. We could only focus on the challenges of this situation and grumbling — and miss seeing multiple friends offering us their spare vehicles to temporarily help us out, miss seeing people sharing the video of the theft online to help find the truck, miss precious time with my parents helping us search for a wise and responsible replacement, and miss an opportunity to trust God, wait patiently, and praise Him in the storm.

Sometimes things are completely out of our control and there is nothing we can do to “fix it” in the moment. Sometimes no matter how much we “want it right now”, that isn’t the way life goes.

For my daughter and I, visiting amusement parks and riding roller coasters is a good analogy for life. Most times the best rides have a wait involved. They are thrilling and exciting once our turn comes, but the wait is part of the process. And through the years we have come up with various ways to keep ourselves occupied that doesn’t include grumbling about the wait. 

It is the same with life. Grumbling about having to wait doesn’t change the situation for the better, it just makes it worse. In life we can’t always look at a the situation and estimate when our wait might end. In life there are usually no guarantees that our waiting will eventually result in our getting what we are waiting for. But how we wait can influence our whole life.

If we are spoiled children who always demand our own way “right now”, the disappointments of real life will eventually wear us down. But if we are wise and value patience, we have a great opportunity for a different life, for a different perspective, and for a different journey.

My daughter and I enjoy the rides themselves, but that time in line together, trip after trip is where the memories are made together. And the time that we spend together with others while waiting — and with our God while waiting — builds memories, strengthens our bond in the relationship, and teaches us to trust each other. Choosing patience and relationship in those moments of waiting also helps us focus on our blessings, on what we can do in those moments, and to treasure the opportunity of the moment instead of wasting it by focusing on an “illusion of lack” instead of seeing the “reality of abundance”.

One of the enemy’s favorite traps is to trick people into focusing on their perceived “lack” — something where they are so laser focused on their own “unmet expectations” that they can’t see all of the blessings and opportunity that surround them. Imagine Eve with her eyes on the one deadly fruit that was in the middle of an orchard full of life giving fruit. Imagine the prodigal son who set his eyes on “greener pastures” out there in the world rather than appreciating the blessings he had right there at home. There are so many stories and scales that are written, but I’m sure we also know times where we have personally focused on “perceived lack” instead of looking around at so much abundance.

Lord, help us to bear that fruit of your spirit that is patience. Let the world see us walking in that peace that passes all understanding so that they know that you are there with us in those moments. Help us to find our rest in you and to know how abundantly blessed we are — especially when we don’t think that we are getting “our way”. Help us to understand and trust you in The Way that is best. Amen.

‭Psalms‬ ‭130:5‬ ‭AMP‬
[5] I wait [patiently] for the Lord, my soul [expectantly] waits, And in His word do I hope.

https://bible.com/bible/1588/psa.130.5.AMP