Yep, I feel like a noisy gong.
Yep, I read these posts of mine and wonder how much bigger of a hypocrite I look like every day.
But at the end of the day, it isn’t about me and how others see me. It’s a part of my life that I don’t hide.
Part of me would much rather hide and study in the quiet sanctuary of my own bedroom – never reaching out with a message that is bound to be examined and scrutinized by some of my friends, and in many cases is going to create distance between me and some of my friends.
If you asked me why I share these messages, I can give you the answers that I’ve come up with after the fact to answer the inevitable questions that come from concerned friends – but to be quite honest with you, I’m flying by the seat of my pants here. I’m constantly trying to play catch up with wherever life seems to be taking me.
So, if I’m that voice that you’ve already tuned out, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to distance myself. I’m still here. I’m still me. Yes, there is a lot of change in my life right now, and I’m sorry if it looks messy and crazy and frankly a bit over the top – but that’s my life right now. I can’t tell you that I can make sense of it all myself, so thanks for hanging in there with me.
Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for being my friend. And thank you for accepting me just the way that I am. And here is what might seem shocking to some of you. I’m not trying to change you. I do accept you for who you are, and I love you.
Even if you know that some of the things that you choose to do are “not right” in the eyes of religious people – that doesn’t change how I feel about you, because I’m not interested in acting religious. What you do or what you don’t do doesn’t change my loved for you, friend.
Please, please, please understand this – I love you regardless of what you are doing in your life. Even if we disagree on the things that matter the most, that doesn’t mean that you are my enemy. No, you are my friend.
Yes, I will stand my ground on what I believe to be true. Yes, I will stand my ground on what is right and what is wrong. Yes, I am trying to stay true to those things IN MY OWN LIFE. Yes, I will continue to be a voice with a message to be shared.
But even if you don’t want to hear this message, even if we don’t agree on what we believe – that doesn’t erase this love that I have for you, my friend. And yes, it would be amazing if we agreed, but even if we don’t – I’m still your friend as long as you will still have me as a friend.
That doesn’t mean that I’ll stop sharing, and it doesn’t mean that my message will change. But I hope you understand that I’m not sharing trying to convert people to a religion. I’m sharing because this is part of my life, and like other areas of our lives – we share, hoping to find others who share a common voice, a common ear, and a common eye.
I’m grateful to call you my friend. You are each a blessing to my life in one way or another – each unique and each precious to me.