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The past weeks have been especially challenging. Sickness,  vehicles breaking down, the extra stress work of coordinating for my daughter’s birthday and the holidays, things at work seem to have been falling apart at a greater rate, multiple weekends in a row of late night maintenance work scheduled, more people hurting around us in deeper and more challenging ways. And the impact is cumulative,  almost like a snowball gathering up stream as it swells into an avalanche.

May God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace. Jesus gave his life for our sins, just as God our Father planned, in order to rescue us from this evil world in which we live. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen.
Galatians 1:3-5 NLT
http://bible.com/116/gal.1.3-5.NLT

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There is a camp who would tell me,  just think positively and you will see positive results. And I understand the dangers in letting our trials bring us down into the dumps emotionally, but instead of a concept of my own attitude having the power to change either my circumstances of my perspective,  I think that it’s safer if we let our trials draw us closer to the Lord and if we find peace and comfort in handing it over to Him. Yes, there is only a subtle difference between the two,  but it is an important one.

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There is a difference between the blessings of grace and peace and the trappings of self confidence and pride. And it comes down to who we trust to have the strength to bring us through the trials. For those of us who have relied for so long on our own strength,  or own gifts, our own power to bring us through this life and it’s many challenges – sometimes it can be hard to hand it over to God instead of striving to be strong enough on our own.

And especially if we have historically thought of ourselves as a strong and confident person, when we start facing challenges and trials beyond our own control, it can either result in our watching our dreams be shattered as we continue to struggle on our own against the raging ride – or we can trust in the Lord and instead of resisting and insisting on our dreams and plans,  we can learn to be content in what He has in store for us.

Due to sickness, I’ve missed work,  I’ve had to cancel ministry plans, I’ve let down my coworkers, I’ve let down those counting on me for assistance, I’ve let down my family, and I’ve struggled to make it through the basics of each of these past several days as my body has just been too weak for the demands of this world. I don’t know what those consequences might be, I don’t know what opportunities might have been lost, I don’t know the weight being carried by others while I cannot bear it myself. In fact, it might be prideful for me to think that anyone would experience any noticeable extra burden due to my weakness, due to my absence. Maybe I need to be humbled by realizing how very unimportant and replaceable I am in each of those areas that my life touches.

You see,  I don’t yet understand the why behind my sickness. I don’t yet understand if there is a lesson to be learned immediately or if I will one day have my eyes opened to see the beauty of the whys behind all of the struggles and trials of this life. But I can know His grace and find peace and comfort in knowing that He is in control.

You see, I’m off the camp that believes that God is more interested in changing me than changing my circumstances. This is a different camp than those who believe that God is there to service their requests when they call upon His name. You see, one group is interested in crying out to a master that will give them what they want, while the other group is interested in crying out to a master that will teach them what He wants. And shouldn’t we wonder whether or not these two might be very different masters?

I’m so thankful for His grace,  for His peace, that He is rescuing us from this evil world. The tricks and traps of the enemy lie all around us. The enemy strides around, waiting for an opportunity to devour us. But we cannot be snatched from our Father’s hand. And what are the trials of this life in comparison to what awaits us on the other side of eternity?

Praise the Lord,  He is worthy of praise and honor and glory.

NOTE: Please extend some grace in reading my journal entry today. I’m still battling a cold and taking medicine. Today’s entry was probably a lot more of my own thoughts and concerns as opposed to message from the Holy Spirit & Word of God. Love y’all.