There was a time in my life that the girls thought that I was cute.
And for a while that was very important to me. So I paid attention to their cues, their coy openings for my advances, and I played the part giving those puppy dog eyes to open doors that were better left closed.
And there was drama and there were consequences from my fluttering around from blossom to blossom like a busy bee, but at the time I was intoxicated by the pollen, as I gathered up the treasure of my conquests.
That was what my foolish heart desired above pretty much everything else. Yes, the Lord made my flesh, as a man, to appreciate the enticements of a woman. And in my foolishness and in my pride, I looked not just at the enticements of A WOMAN, but I was hungry and thirsty for more, more, more. I heard that voice telling me, “if one is good, two is better – and why stop at two, the world is your playground.” Yes, I got very familiar with that voice, that spirit that urged me on deeper and deeper into the trap – luring me with that bait that was so difficult for me to resist.
And what did this chase after lustful things do to my perception of the world? I didn’t care about marriages touched with the stain of adultery by my playtime. I didn’t care about purity lost at the hand of my own enticements. I didn’t care about whether they liked or even knew who I was. I was living out a Limp Bizkit song, testifying what I was doing it all for.
You see, I was trying to fill a void of rejection from earlier in my life. And not just one rejection, but a series of rejections, of betrayals, of the pain from a broken heart tossed in the blender. So I turned my back on the idea of love being faithful and true, because so many proved to me that it just wasn’t so – by the way their empty hearts had left me abandoned.
I realized that the ones with the cold detached hearts didn’t seem to be the ones getting hurt, but they were the ones either avoiding the hurt or dishing it out – and that seemed on the surface to be much easier, much safer, so much less… messy.
But I didn’t realize that the most painful injuries run deep like a dagger into our heart, doing long lasting damage, but may only leave a small puncture wound visible – while a rug burn or rash may be more visible and evident and widespread, but it will be over soon enough after it scabs and heals.
And this direction in my life led into a world of darkness – into a world of partying, drunkenness, immorality, drugs, criminal activity, jealousy, drama, quarrels, fights, pornography, and all kinds of things that I’m surprised to have escaped. If I was a betting man, I would have expected the house to win – I would have expected the prince of this age to keep me as a general in his army leading more and more into the darkness alongside me like I always had before by my foolish example.
But I was offered another job. I was offered a position in another house. And even though it is a position as a lowly servant, washing the feet of those who might decide to enter this narrow gate into my new master’s house – it’s the best job available. Even though it isn’t the loud, visible, big house on the street corner with the big parking lot and the broad door open for everyone to come in and join the loud, racous party – it’s the best job available. Even though it doesn’t fill my pockets with silver and gold and prosperity and wealth and the treasures of this world – it’s the best job available.
Because that other house is on fire. And I’m standing at my narrow gate, warning others to come away from the fire, to not go in, but they are distracted by the loud music and celebration near the entrance to that other house – unaware that it hides the sounds of the screams of those already trapped inside and burning in the fire. They won’t listen to my “foolish warnings”. Like me when I was blind to the truth, they pile in, wave after wave, like goats to the slaughter.
And I cannot look down on them, because I once was blind as well. I can’t call them any more of a fool than I have been myself. But that won’t stop me from trying to tell them there is a better way, from hoping their eyes will become open to the destruction that lies just inside that other door.
My hope is that the Lord who was merciful towards me might make His grace known to them, that He might draw them near just as He has been merciful towards me. I know that there is a job available, because we need more laborers. We need more who are willing to sound the alarm and plead with those heading off into destruction.
But why would they listen? Because we have Good News. There is love that doesn’t abandon us even though we have abandoned Him. There is an example shown to us of God’s amazing and sacrificial and faithful and true love towards us in the life of Jesus Christ.
That emptiness that we’ve tried to fill with all the wrong things that just don’t fit right and that left us still lacking – there is something that fills it perfectly and fully. We are made to be vessels of the Holy Spirit of God, of Christ who lives in us. So is it any surprise if we believe this, that nothing else could ever adequately fill that aching void in our heart?
We choose each day how we fill the void. And the Bible tells us that we can either fill our lives with sin, with things that are desires of the flesh for the enticements of this world – or we can choose to walk in the Spirit of God, bearing fruit like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control. And couldn’t our lives handle more fruit? Couldn’t the world us more of this type of fruit that nourishes the soul?
We aren’t too be like zombies, like the walking dead, hungry for “just a little more flesh”!
Wake up. Let Him breathe new life into the dying, decaying flesh suit that you are walking around in.
Come, let me wash your feet, friend, so that you might enter into this narrow gate and follow this narrow path up to the big house of the master who invites you into an abundant life.