The Facebook Invite, the Flirtation… What to do?

Man of God:

On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” – Romans 12:20

chess two rows of pawns with knight challenge centre

Our natural reaction is to see a threat as an enemy. The man who is trying to be faithful and to turn away from lustful temptations may think of that pretty girl on Facebook or at work as either “a delicious morsel to be devoured if given the opportunity” or as “a pawn of the enemy coming to attack me”.

And the Bible tells us about our real enemy:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. – Ephesians 6:12

Make no mistake. That enemy will use people to get to you, to tempt you, to distract you.


There are times when I receive invites on Facebook, or flirtations in real life, and it would be easy for many of us to fall into a pit of poison with these temptations, ignoring advice like we find in Proverbs 5:

My son, be attentive to my wisdom;

    incline your ear to my understanding,
  that you may keep discretion,
    and your lips may guard knowledge.
  For the lips of a forbidden[a] woman drip honey,
    and her speech[b] is smoother than oil,
  but in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
    sharp as a two-edged sword.
  Her feet go down to death;
    her steps follow the path to[c] Sheol;
  she does not ponder the path of life;
    her ways wander, and she does not know it.

  And now, O sons, listen to me,
    and do not depart from the words of my mouth.
  Keep your way far from her,
    and do not go near the door of her house,
  lest you give your honor to others
    and your years to the merciless,
   lest strangers take their fill of your strength,
    and your labors go to the house of a foreigner,
   and at the end of your life you groan,
    when your flesh and body are consumed,
   and you say, “How I hated discipline,
    and my heart despised reproof!
   I did not listen to the voice of my teachers
    or incline my ear to my instructors.
   I am at the brink of utter ruin
    in the assembled congregation.

   Drink water from your own cistern,

    flowing water from your own well.

I used to fall prey to that enemy without even putting up a fight. In all honesty, there was a time in my life when I taught myself how to identify, track down, and wrap myself up in the chains of those Jezebel spirits and let them devour and destroy all kinds of things in my life.

But times they are a changing…


The other common approach is to forget that they are lost just like we once were and are in need of the very help that we have received. Our other alternative is to demonize the women/ladies themselves – as if we haven’t ourselves been the very fuel that has flamed their promiscuous natures with our following eyes, with our flattering words, with our fumbling hands…

But these girls are someone’s wife or future wife. They are someone’s daughter. They are someone’s sister.

Will you look God in the eye and tell Him what you are thinking about this daughter that He has created? Are we so foolish to think that we can hide your thoughts from Him? Or do we not even believe enough to care?

Do we care that this is a lost female in need of help, actually, a SISTER that is not in need of our incestuous celebration of her captivity, but in need of our leading her to the freedom that can only be found in Christ!

I think of Paul’s heart for those around him who were lost:

With Christ as my witness, I speak with utter truthfulness. My conscience and the Holy Spirit confirm it. My heart is filled with bitter sorrow and unending grief for my people, my Jewish brothers and sisters.I would be willing to be forever cursed—cut off from Christ!—if that would save them. – Romans 9:1-3


And I remember that He does not wish that even one should perish and that faith comes by hearing the Word of God:

As the Scriptures tell us, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced.” Jew and Gentile are the same in this respect. They have the same Lord, who gives generously to all who call on him. For “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, “How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!”

But not everyone welcomes the Good News, for Isaiah the prophet said, “Lord, who has believed our message?” So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ. – Romans 10:11-17


So when faced with these situations, it is time for discernment. Is this a lost soul who will hear the Word of God and in whom a seed will be planted by my sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ with them? Is this a Jezebel spirit just wanting to get close to me through this female vessel that needs to be freed from her current master? Am I in a situation where my own integrity and virtue might be compromised by allowing any interaction with this person? Or am I in a situation where my wife and I and our strong, faithful, dedicated and loving relationship might demonstrate something new and better to this person?

Dangerous ground if I’m standing upon sand.

Dangerous ground if I’m using grace as an excuse to abound in sin.

Dangerous ground if I’m powerless and lost in religion with no active and abiding relationship with my Lord and Savior.

Dangerous ground if I think that I’m stronger and safer than I actually am.

So, the playbook for such a situation? A firm and sound footing in the Word of God and a willingness to share the Good News of the gospel of Jesus Christ with them first and foremost. That Jezebel spirit will run from the name of Jesus if the Holy Spirit is present and active and moving and at work in my life. But if I were working under my own power and authority and not that of Jesus Christ, I’m reminded of the warning in Acts 19:

A group of Jews was traveling from town to town casting out evil spirits. They tried to use the name of the Lord Jesus in their incantation, saying, “I command you in the name of Jesus, whom Paul preaches, to come out!” Seven sons of Sceva, a leading priest, were doing this. But one time when they tried it, the evil spirit replied, “I know Jesus, and I know Paul, but who are you?” Then the man with the evil spirit leaped on them, overpowered them, and attacked them with such violence that they fled from the house, naked and battered.

The story of what happened spread quickly all through Ephesus, to Jews and Greeks alike. A solemn fear descended on the city, and the name of the Lord Jesus was greatly honored. Many who became believers confessed their sinful practices.


But I’m no son of Sceva. I am a Son of God. I am in Christ. I am called and sent. In fact, it is my faith in His power and authority that is the source of my confidence – not in myself – but in Him to not let His Word fall void.


So, if I respond, it is to share the Word of God with these by the wayside, so that some might recognize His voice and His message and they might turn from their wicked ways and repent and believe.


And yes, some will read this an say, “Buy you’re JUDGING them!”

I can judge fruit, I can recognize sin, I can hate even the stain on the garment, while still extending forgivness, mercy, and salvation to the sinner who will come to confess their sins, repent and turn to a new life in Christ.


Yes, I hope that my sharing the gospel – even if it drives these flirtatious women away – might show her that I love Jesus Christ and that my seeing the promise of her living as my sister in Christ is more important than seeing the corruption of her dying as my whore in bondage.

If you aren’t willing to share the Good News of Jesus Christ with any woman that comes in contact with you, are you even a believer? Are you more concerned about scaring away the prey than saving her from the wolves? Are you more interested in what she can raise for you than seeing her raised to life?

Harsh words? Harsh language?

But loving, nonetheless.

If you cannot share the whole truth of the Good News of Jesus Christ with these women, stay away completely. Run home to your own house, your own home, your own wife/family and do not look back. If you will not, or you can not, do not be surprised when the fires are licking at your life, burning everything away, leaving nothing behind of value, and you find yourself, naked, battered, and alone in the darkness. If you’re there now, turn back before it is too late.




God bless.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s