Be Good Husbands

 

My wife, my bride,
Sweeter today than the day we wed,
More patient with my faults now than when blinded by attraction,
A more beautiful and radiant doe now than when masked by her youth,
Demonstrating that gentle and quiet spirit that comes from the Lord.
She trusts in the Lord and she listens to and knows the heart of my words,
She and I are warring on the battlefield but not against one another,
Because we are one, standing united against that enemy that hates us,
We are one in Christ as she is not my adversary but is my helpmate,
We are one in truth as she is my spotless blameless treasure washed by the Word of God,
We are one in love.
We are one.
Not to be separated,
for we are not just joined by vows,
but by the Lord God Almighty Himself.
The enemy shall not overcome,
The enemy shall not make camp in this, the Lord’s territory.
The enemy has been overcome,
For the enemy met with resistance
And did not divide and conquer
But is revealed conquered
By the Blood of the Lamb
And by our testimony
That we love,
Yes we love!
Not me,
But We
And He.

We are taught
We are led
We are called
We are sent
Together
by God
with God
Together
Forever.

1 Peter 3:7

In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

Proverbs 18:22

22 The man who finds a wife finds a treasure,

    and he receives favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 19:14

14 Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth,

    but only the Lord can give an understanding wife.

Mark 10:7-9

7 ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, 8 and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, 9 let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

I wonder how often we look at our wives as “undeserved treasure” instead of looking for what we could find fault in (and tear down in our own minds) about this woman who is united with us as one?

Or maybe some of us haven’t reached that point where we actually are “united into one” with our wives?

Maybe we’re trying to be Clemson on one side of the field while they are trying to be Carolina – each battling for title of lord within the battleground of our own households?

Maybe we’ve been fooled into forgetting about the real enemy and the division that can be sown so that we refuse to acknowledge the only one that can truly be Lord and bring unity in our households?

Husbands, have we been foolish in thinking that she must be understandable before you can be understanding towards her? Have we expected her to come and speak with us like a man, or like a common neighbor — or even as someone bringing their case into our courtroom to be considered and judged in the courts of reason? How foolish, when she should be able to enter her emotional pleas to us expecting grace and mercy and love. Where is your compassion, you hard of heart? Doesn’t an outpouring of love, a going forth of this gospel, start at home? Are we not called to love her like Christ loves the church?

Do not have her begging for crumbs of love at the table of your marriage – she is no dog! She is part of you. She is your treasure to be second only to Christ himself in your heart! Above your job, above your career, above your children, above your friends, above your hobbies – she is one with you if you are indeed one in Christ.

Or is that the root of the issue? Have you forgotten who you are without Christ? Have you forgotten the wretched state from which He has called and delivered you so that you think so much of yourself that you can look down upon the very one you are sent to be Christ to in your household?

Repent, husbands. Honor her today. Not with platitudes and flowers, but with a willingness to hear her.

Ask her how she feels about the state of your relationship. And when she answers, do not get offended. Do not make excuses. Do not justify your own perspective. Do not turn away from these words that reveal hurts to your body that you had been ignoring – because hurts to her are hurts to you – if indeed you are one. Seek understanding. Find unity. Stir up love.