It’s hard seeing the friends or family members that we love so much slow down, change, and seemingly become someone else altogether.
It’s hard enduring verbal and emotional attacks from those who know you well enough to say the things about you that hurt you the most.
It’s hard to not be trusted by the very person that you are trying to help, to be suspected by them that you are taking advantage of them when you are trying to help, to be accused of being after their money or possessions when you are investing in and supporting them as best you know how.
It’s hard when their inappropriate behavior, cursing, etc affects your young children.
It’s hard when you see the emotional and physical strain upon yourself and others who ate involved in caregiving for someone suffering from Alzheimer’s and/or dementia.
It is hard when you are getting negative behavior in return for your positive input, to not want to avoid them and minimize the amount of time you are subjecting yourself to what sometimes just feels like abuse.
It’s hard when the necessities of a new chaotic type of life within your household have those around you recognizing and wondering about the lack of consistency in your attendance, participation, and involvement in things you used to do with them regularly and reliably.
It’s hard when the added weight of such things in your life add up to added weight around your middle, added health concerns, reduced productivity and focus in your workplace, and a gradual pulling down of your
You will be tempted to wrestle wotrh the question of “why?” And I fear that we may not know those kinds of answers this side of heaven.
And please don’t think, “Oh, he’s such a strong person taking care of his family in such a situation!” I am not the primary caregiver in our circumstance, that would be my mom. And I’m not even the secondary caregiver, that would be my wife. And it could even be argued that some weeks my daughter spends more time with Nana doing exercises with her than I do sitting and talking with her. So I’m no toiling and suffering saint to be lifted up high in your mind as you read this. No, these godly women around me, like good nuns amongst the needy, the frail, the hurting, remind me even more clearly of how far I fall short in such things.
I’m reminded of the prayer:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.”
What a powerful concept if we don’t just speak it, but we hear it, we receive it, we take hold of it.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones. Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce. Then he will fill your barns with grain, and your vats will overflow with good wine. My child, don’t reject the Lord ’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights. Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding. For wisdom is more profitable than silver, and her wages are better than gold. Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. She offers you long life in her right hand, and riches and honor in her left. She will guide you down delightful paths; all her ways are satisfying. Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her; happy are those who hold her tightly.
Proverbs 3:5-18 NLT
2 thoughts on “Alzheimer’s and Dementia”
Thank you for sharing the dementia information. I had a similar experience with my step-mother during my father’s final months. Most people have no idea how painful it can be. You put it into words so well. So sorry you have all had to deal with this. Love, Susie
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I’m finding that some painful experiences offer us the ability to share together with others in knowing that we aren’t alone in our suffering and trials. Not that I would want anyone else to have to endure such things — but it helps.